kkaeppsong | [yoongi/jungkook] ; breathless

[yoongi/jungkook] ; breathless

It’s all finished, every last thing. The dishes. Laundry. Trash. Pet food. Groceries. Yoongi’s spent the last hour on his hands and knees scrubbing away at every corner of their shared bathroom, and before that he was organizing countless T-shirts, putting away clothing exactly where it belonged in their closet. He didn’t dare cut any corners, because Jungkook would notice, and god forbid he leave them in the hamper for more than a minute. Wrinkles are high on Jungkook’s list of domestic annoyances, and while Yoongi’s believes he’ll never truly master the art of folding, his fingers just never getting the lines crisp enough, the work is passable. At least he can say the kid didn’t have to help him with anything this time around.

Because right now, Yoongi’s home alone--and has been for the last eight hours. After he kissed Sejin off to school and Jungkook off to the office earlier that morning, Yoongi ignored the familiar pull to go back to bed and fully bask in his day off. Instead, he decided to get to work. House work, that is. And he hasn’t stopped since this morning, driving himself to complete every last chore on Jungkook’s weekend to-do list as efficiently and thoroughly as possible. Hell, he even went online and ordered Jungkook a new Proactiv+ Complete Kit, giving himself a solid ten minutes to sit down.

This is love, Yoongi muses to himself as he types in his credit card information to buy his husband his favorite acne treatment, absentmindedly playing footsie with a dozing Stark. He’s glad someone is taking advantage of a relaxing Friday. In all honesty, though, it’s worth it.

It’s always worth it when it comes to Jungkook, but right now there’s a different sort of fire spurring Yoongi on, giving him the energy to go from one task to the next. Ever since they finished relationship counseling a few weeks ago, Yoongi’s felt something inside him ache and give way underneath the weight of all Jungkook’s unspoken words, all the lingering thoughts and frustrations and desires he had never before voiced until then. They had both agreed that Jungkook needed to be more open, more honest, but Yoongi also needed to listen. He had to pay attention and refocus some energy away from the kid. He had to be there for Jungkook unconditionally, whether the younger reached out for his hand or not--because Yoongi loves him far, far too much to let him slip away, to give him any reason to feel unwanted or unappreciated.

It’s nearly six when Yoongi collapses on the couch post-shower, their apartment picture perfect with everything finished. Jungkook should be home any minute now, and Yoongi gives himself a tired, congratulatory pat--which, naturally, catches Cy’s attention from the windowsill, the black cat jumping up to curl on his chest instead.

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thank god it's friday. that's all that jungkook can really think, the mantra that gets him through the day without losing his fucking mind on his third call - third call in one day - from some company bigshot who just forgot to make sure his computer was plugged in. he doesn't get paid enough for this shit - it's a thought that he has often, one fueled entirely by frustration and nothing else, and usually more and more towards the end of the week, when he's practically counting down the minutes until he can get out the door and stop thinking about anything related to all of this for at least forty eight hours.

even with a long list of weekend obligations stretched out in front of him (entirely self-imposed, though he would argue otherwise), jungkook feels relieved when he's finally stepping out of the office, already unbuttoning the top button on his work shirt, loosening his tie just a little so that he can breathe. it isn't that his job is hell, but just that he would rather be at home, would rather be with yoongi, even if he's still insistent on micromanaging every second of his time until he gets everything done - because then, and only then, can he be satisfied. jungkook is just like that, and, honestly, the kid being out for a weekend just means that maybe he can get even more done, squeeze in a few extra things during the time between his early morning runs with stark and pulling together a breakfast once his sleepy, adorable husband finally decides to join the land of the living. the whole thing pulls a stupid little grin on his face, and he's glad the drive back isn't too long, that he's hopping down from his car and making his way through the front door in what seems like no time at all.

"i'm home," is what he calls out as soon as he steps in, more out of habit than anything else as he kicks off his shoes near the doorway, nudges them into some kind of order as he locks the door, double checks it, turns to make his way farther inside and catches sight of yoongi, sprawled on their couch with cypher curled up on top of him, looking all kinds of inviting. he's working to unbutton the sleeves of his shirt as he makes his way closer, leans down for a kiss first thing, follows it up with another one, and then another, just because. he hasn't yet noticed anything about the apartment, hasn't yet taken the time to take in the visible fruits of yoongi's labor, too focused on getting his proper welcome to give up his attention anywhere else just yet.

"how was your day?" he asks, absently scratching at cypher's ear, still hovering over yoongi slightly just because he refuses to back down but also refuses to sit until he's changed out of his clothes and into something more comfortable, because he knows if he gives in he won't get back up.

Something settles within Yoongi every time he hears the familiar call, the soft scuff of shoes as they're neatly put into place, knowing that Jungkook's once again made it home safely. Made it back home to him. He can already sense what kind of day it's been for the younger man, gaze following the movement of his loose tie, his fingers as they unbutton his shirt sleeves--as though he's quickly shedding off any last layer of stress that's been clinging onto him from the past several hours. His kisses, though, are all sweet, Yoongi humming into their preferred form of greeting. It wouldn't take long to get him purring much the same way Cy is, who at the moment is nudging blissfully against Jungkook's hand, chasing his touch with little regard to anything else. Yoongi can relate to that feeling all too well.

"Just did some things around the house," Yoongi answers with a casual lift of his shoulder, betraying nothing in his expression. He's had years of practice perfecting his poker face with Sejin as their child, and he's not about to spoil the surprise now. It's always much more fun catching Jungkook off guard instead, watching the little creases appear on his forehead, the cute scrunch of his eyebrows and nose as he tries to figure out just what exactly is different about the apartment than the last time he saw it. He'll get there. Yoongi just needs to give it some time.

"Long day for you?" His tone softens then, reaching out to skim a palm up Jungkook's thigh until it's resting lightly on his waist, thumb rubbing small circles. It happens naturally, coming with the knowledge that it's just them at home. Not that they can't indulge in touches like these when Sejin's around, but now that he's older he's not quite as oblivious to the affection as he used to be. He's also not nearly as forgiving with it, face scrunching up in a scarily similar way as he gives the usual childish protests of "hyuuuungs".

Yoongi prefers touching without the commentary. He would also prefer Jungkook to linger here exactly as he is, unwilling to give him up just yet for a change of clothes.

it isn't always a given, sometimes the days will catch and linger on jungkook long after five o'clock, but the majority of the time he can feel the stress starting to ease its way off of his shoulders as soon as he's back home, once he hears the familiar, easy drawl of his husband's voice and gets a kiss. there's a long weekend stretched out ahead of them, a long weekend of nothing but them, and even though its littered with little responsibilities and obligations here and there, jungkook still couldn't possibly want anything else. because this is it. this is his life, this is their life, this is exactly what he chose, what he always wanted without ever really realizing that he ever would.

there's no doubt about it now. there isn't even a shadow of a doubt in jungkook's mind, and there never has been, not even when they agreed and made the decision to go to counseling together, not when sometimes the weight of the things that he had never voiced before felt like they were winding too tight in his chest, smothering him. it's been a couple of weeks since then, since he finally aired out everything, and it's strange how the release still feels new and yet at the same time, it feels like nothing has changed, nothing has shifted between them aside from pulling them closer, guaranteeing more time for the two of them like this.

jungkook is more than happy to have time just with yoongi. because time with yoongi means things like this, like the way that yoongi is looking at him, the way that his touch smooths over his thigh, his side, rubbing those soothing little circles that only relax him farther. jungkook wants nothing else but to sink into it, into everything about the older man, letting out a soft sigh and a hum of acknowledgement, giving in just enough to lean a bit closer, to rest his forehead against yoongi's and close his eyes for a moment.

"just glad to be home with you," is what he finally murmurs, taking in a slow, deep breath full of the familiar, soft scent of yoongi's shampoo. a moment later he opens his eyes again, leaning back a little, pulling on some of the self control he prides himself on to get him there. "five minutes? i need to get out of these clothes."

Yoongi has always loved the way Jungkook, for all his tall, built strength, how much more of him there simply is, folds into his smaller body after a day of work. Especially at the end of the week, especially when Sejin's already off with his grandparents. Yoongi welcomes the way his husband leans even closer, his neatly styled hair tickling his forehead, soft sigh fanning across his lips, and this is why it was worth it. This quiet moment right here with the person he wants to please most, to honor most. Yoongi could probably spend a lifetime like this, just listening to the sound of Jungkook breathing against him, feeling those honest words squeeze his heart. He never gets tired of this.

Yoongi lets him pull away, reluctantly, though his hand lingers still around the younger man's waist, pressing into the nice button down. To his own credit, Jungkook doesn't seem too keen on moving away either, but Yoongi knows his husband better than that. He won't be able to fully relax until he's finished his normal after work routine.

"I like the sound of that," he drawls teasingly, following with a couple appreciative pats to Jungkook's backside, unable to help himself. Of course, Yoongi knows exactly what Jungkook means when he says he needs to get out of his clothes--means obviously getting into something else, likely his favorite Iron Man T-shirt and some sweatpants--but one of these days, he thinks. Maybe one of these days he'll be blessed with the sight of his husband emerging from the bedroom completely stripped and bare, wandering around the kid-free apartment like a fucking vision, confident and effortless and too beautiful not to be touched. A man can dream, after all.

"Five minutes," he permits, calling out himself when he's left sprawled on the couch just like he was before Jungkook came back home. This time, though, the exhaustion is replaced with a certain giddy expectation, knowing that Jungkook is going to walk into their bedroom and see everything picked up, stowed away, organized, and meticulously cleaned. Basically, how he wants the state of their room to be at all times. Yoongi even refilled Jungkook's favorite scent into the wallflower near their bed, a subtle touch his husband will undoubtedly pick up on.

jungkook doesn't think that he could ever get used to this, to the way that yoongi makes him feel, the way he looks at him, touches him, talks to him like he's the most precious thing in the world. there's never been a dhortage of that in their relationship, never been a shortage of jungkook feeling appreciated, wanted, loved. in fact, it was something else that dug into his own strange insecurities, that made him struggle, that he couldn't help feeling guilty about whenever he still felt that pull, an ache to just spend more time together, to get a little bit of yoongi to himself more often than just past bedtime.

this weekend, jungkook has yoongi entirely to himself. and he's entirely aware of that, even as he has a small buildup of other things trying to queue up in his brain, though it doesn't keep a slight grin from gracing his lips, a soft snort of amusement at the comment, at the pats to his ass because, honestly, yoongi is ridiculous. he's completely and utterly ridiculous, and jungkook is so in love with this man that it overwhelms him sometimes in the best possible way.

he can come back to that. for now, he pulls himself back the rest of the way, makes his way down the hall and into their bedroom, already further loosening his tie and tugging it off on the way there. it's a clear system, the way that he even undresses carefully, puts away things like his tie and his belt while the rest of his dirty clothes go into the hamper, ready to be washed. jungkook doesn't pause in his routine. it isn't until he's changed (predictably, into his favorite iron man tshirt and sweatpants combo), isn't until he's washing his hands in the bathroom sink that reality and realization slowly start to dawn on him.

a quick glance around the space as he dries his hands tells him everything he needs to know, along with a look around their bedroom, a double take at the closet, at the way everything is exactly in place where it should be. jungkook stands alone in confused awe for a moment, blinking as another wave comes over him, a slow, warm rush of realization, of gratitude, of love. by the time he comes back out into the living room he's caught on, even if he can't see the entire extent of yoongi's hard work, and he finally plops himself down next to his husband, unable to keep from letting out a soft groan of satisfaction just at the feeling of sitting down.

"some things around the house, huh?" he teases lightly, but there's a grin on his face that he can't help as he leans against yoongi slightly, closer in the way that he can never quite get enough of, it seems, tilting his head slightly in order to look at his husband properly. "did you really already do everything?"

Jungkook is too efficient to take a long time changing, but still Yoongi finds his mind wandering, still so fortunate that Jungkook's parents agreed to take Sejin for a couple days. Of course, they were always more than happy to spend time with the boy and relentlessly spoil him, but it still meant the world to Yoongi for so many different reasons. It was important to them for Sejin to have that relationship with both of their parents, to feel the warmth of his family from all sides, to have so many people who loved and supported him. Sejin deserves nothing less than that, and Yoongi's made sure, right from day one, that it's exactly what Sejin got. Thankfully, his own parents came around eventually, fully embracing the boy once it became clear Yoongi wasn't going to change his mind, or his plans.

But it's also just as important for the two of them. It's no secret that when you become a parent your world quickly and completely gets overrun by your child, and they were no exception. Sejin has nearly always been the center in which everything else in their lives revolves around--school, parent teacher conferences, taekwondo practice, birthday parties, sick days, trips to the zoo, play dates. Parenting is the messiest, most rewarding job in the universe, and Yoongi could never do it with anyone else besides Jungkook--but it doesn't always have to be the center. What's more, he really doesn't want it to be.

What he wants is to be able to give his undivided attention to his husband for more than a handful of moments during the evening. What he wants is to go on dates and have stupid movie marathons and eat food in bed and take showers together. What he wants is to make love to Jungkook for an entire morning--god, an entire day. And then fuck him on every available surface of their apartment for good measure. But most of all, he wants Jungkook to know that it's okay, that he's not being selfish, that none of this will ever be selfish. They're allowed to simply be two people madly in love.

Yoongi sure as hell is, anyways, watching Jungkook stroll back in the living room in his Iron Man shirt, looking like the cutest man child he's ever laid his eyes on. He's always a sight for weary eyes, but tonight his husband's looking particularly radiant, all bright expression and loose limbs and knowing eyes when he plops down next to him on the couch. That grin is the final blow to his already weak discipline, Yoongi wasting no time in stretching his legs across the younger's lap and using his heels to dig him in closer. Mine.

"I better have." Satisfaction curls warm and deep seeing how happy Jungkook looks, knowing he put that there. And it's alright that he couldn't see the younger's initial reaction to their home because he has him now, and he has no indication of letting him go a second time, legs already settling comfortably on top of him. "Unless there's a second list I don't know about."

His hooded eyes look up playfully, fondly all at once, and after another moment Yoongi reaches out to walk his fingers in one of Jungkook's hands. "Now it really can just be us this weekend," he promises.

Edited 2017-02-05 02:10 (UTC)

it's not an easy task, and it's certainly not one that jungkook ever would have imagined himself doing, this whole parenting thing. if anyone had asked him just a matter of years ago whether or not he ever wanted kids, he might have scoffed, might have shrugged one shoulder and seemed dismissive, honestly had never even given the question any sort of real consideration. but then yoongi came along, and yoongi brought sejin, and all of this has fallen together so naturally over time, with a kind of grace that jungkook never would have imagined he would experience in a million years. even back then, the first time he met yoongi, the first time he tried to convince him to spend a little bit of time with him, there was no way jungkook could have known what it meant, where it would lead to, that that sleepy tattoo artist would be the man he's set on spending the rest of his life with. but it was, it is, and he's here, and jungkook can't imagine ever wanting anything else.

sejin is a part of the package, and he always has been. but more than that, sejin is a great kid, a small, growing person who learns more and more every day, who deserves the same kind of life that any other kid can have, all of that and even more. jungkook has felt strongly about that since day one, has been willing to help out with anything and everything that he can right from the start, even despite being so young himself. sejin is number one, and he knows that. it's part of parenthood, and there's nothing in it that he feels jealousy or bitterness towards. the only thing he feels is that dull ache that settles in his chest sometimes, alongside all of the good things, the one that starts to pull at him, make him feel like he misses yoongi even though he's right next to him during a particularly busy stretch. and yoongi knows about that now, it's all been laid out in the open, alongside the guilt that always comes with it, alongside a few other things that somehow managed to slip out in the midst of it all. in a way, the ball was in yoongi's court then, free for him to do as he pleases, and here they are, alone, together, and the proximity is so welcome, jungkook can't do much aside from just taking a few moments to bask in everything about it before saying anything else.

because this whole thing tugs at his chest, has that warmth fanning out through all of him, butterflies lining his stomach in that way that yoongi is still capable of, effortlessly, after all this time. jungkook will never understand how he can feel so comfortable and such a rush all at once, but he won't try to understand it, is perfectly happy with keeping it the way that it is. because the way that it is means this, means sliding his hand to slot their fingers together and give a gentle squeeze, letting his head drop to rest against yoongi's shoulder for just a moment, savoring it before shifting enough to lift it back up, to close up a little bit more of the space between them.

"i love you," is what he finally settles on, genuine just like every single time he says those three words, and he can't resist leaning in after, enough for another kiss, because he definitely hasn't had his fill of them yet. not even close.

This time, when Jungkook tucks himself into Yoongi's body, he knows it's for good. There's nothing else that either of them have to do tonight--no more errands or activities with Sejin or all the small, countless things that don't even make it onto any list in the first place. Yoongi meant exactly what he said to him just now. Of course he wanted to give his husband a reprieve from all the thankless housework he typically carries squarely on his shoulder (and never really complains about). Of course he wanted to thank him, even in the tiniest way, for all the times he's done the exact same thing for Yoongi and Sejin both. Of course there's far more Yoongi can do, that he will do moving forward, because he certainly doesn't want this to be a once-in-a-while moment. Just like with parenting, with marriage, with all the important things in life, you have to work at it.

And Yoongi made sure to work to make this right here all possible. There's absolutely nothing else that's going to steal away Jungkook's attention, or his own for that matter, for the rest of the night. If it wasn't obvious enough beforehand, the soft squeeze to their locked hands, the nuzzle against his shoulder, says all Yoongi needs to hear.

(Then again, hearing the words themselves is always nice too.)

"I love you too," Yoongi murmurs against the younger man, a fuzzy, needy warmth settling into his chest as he pulls him down ever closer. Merely leaning down to meet him isn't good enough for Yoongi, hands tugging until Jungkook is pressed flush against him, laying on top of his own body on the couch. It's a bit of a snug fit with Jungkook's added length, but he doesn't find himself minding the cramped space, not when it means he has every inch of Jungkook running down his body. He detangles their fingers just so he can reach up to cradle Jungkook's neck instead, holding him in place as he pulls a slow, deep kiss from his lips, as if he hasn't tasted him in weeks.

"So much." The words are quickly swept up into another kiss, lingering even longer than the first, Yoongi taking his time exploring just how radiant Jungkook truly is for him. His other hand slips down, all the way down to the small of Jungkook's back, curling into the soft, worn material of his T-shirt.

everything that piled up over the length of the workday, all of the exhaustion, frustration, every last bit of it all seems so far away now. it seems so far away that it's almost like it never even happened in the first place, because honestly, it's the last thing that jungkook is thinking about. it's so, so far from his mind now that he's truly settled, now that he's comfortable in his favorite loose, warm clothes, now that he's properly settled against and wrapped up in his husband. this is the only thing that matters, the only place that jungkook wants to be, and the added surprise of knowing that nothing else needs his attention right now, that yoongi actually took the time, took it upon himself to make sure of that fact, well. it just adds to everything else that gets him following along with the way that yoongi pulls him closer, that has him practically starting to melt against the older man before anything else has even happened yet. that's just what yoongi does to him, it's just what he's always done to him, and it's something that jungkook can never, ever get enough of.

but he won't deny that the kisses are nice, too. the way that yoongi kisses him always seems to set off so many things inside of him, too many, from the squeeze in his chest to the heat that's already threatening to try and spark to life just under the surface. jungkook can't help it, just like he can't keep from letting a soft sound escape, pressing it into yoongi's mouth, into the way that he kisses him breathless without even trying. yoongi's fingers are enough to pull light goosebumps over his skin, to get jungkook pressing down that much more, closer, and really, it's no secret that neither one of them are particularly good when it comes to self control. he can't get at much of yoongi like this, can't touch as much as he'd like to because he's also unwilling to push back, to give himself the room to by putting a little more space between them. so jungkook settles for bringing his own hand, the one that isn't holding him up just enough to keep him from resting entirely against yoongi, up to let his fingers graze over yoongi's jawline, to slide around to the back of his neck and up into soft, freshly showered hair, jungkook still kissing him all the while, kissing him like he means it and then some.

It never does take much for Yoongi. Jungkook can just be sitting a certain way, leaning an arm into a door frame, fucking playing darts in the middle of their living room with Sejin right there (and don't get him started on what happens when he plays darts when they actually go out, Jungkook transforming into an even hotter, more competitive, ridiculous version of himself)--it all ruins him. Jungkook existing in his world alone is enough to get him going, and sure, the younger man teases him relentlessly for it, sometimes get exasperated, but it's not like Yoongi can change those feelings. Some days he wakes up and just stares at the other in awe, marveling over how he got so lucky to have Jungkook in his life.

It never does take much, but when Jungkook gives him a reason, it's a thousand times worse. Yoongi will never get tired of the way the younger man softens, molds against his body so easily when they do this, that tantalizing little sound spilling into their kiss making him need Jungkook even closer than he is already. Yoongi's palm splays flat along his tailbone now, loosening his grip on the other's shirt so he can press down. He doesn't stop until their hips meet, Yoongi effortlessly slotting a leg between Jungkook's own thighs, and fuck, do they feel good. It's a slow, rolling heat between them, Yoongi's movements too languid to shift things to the point of no return, but he's definitely starting something. And he definitely has plenty on his mind--he had had all day to think about what he wanted him and Jungkook do with their newfound freedom, after all.

"So what should we do tonight?" He pulls away only so he can mouth along his husband's jaw, nipping a little at the bone while the low tease lingers in the air. He only pauses when Jungkook buries his fingers in his hair, tingly satisfaction all along his skin as he presses an appreciative sigh against the younger. The sensation alone makes him want to tip his head back, let Jungkook continue the soft assault until he melts down completely.

for all of the teases, all of the exasperation, all of the way that jungkook does sometimes actually swat yoongi's wandering hands away (when he's cooking dinner, or when he's on the phone with his parents, or when they're somewhere that's far too public and getting into some kind of trouble for indecency really isn't on his to-do list), the truth of the matter is that he loves it. he loves the way that yoongi gets with him, endeared and yet somehow a little bit shy about it all at once every single time, sometimes confused about what it is that looks so irresistible when he's doing such simple, everyday things, about why yoongi seems to think he's still the most attractive man alive even when he feels disgusting. jungkook loves it because it's so yoongi, so pure, entirely open and honest in the same way that his husband always is with him, always has been, in that way that jungkook swears just makes him fall more and more in love every time - even if it is ridiculous.

it doesn't matter. and it isn't as if they don't get enough chances to do this, to be close like this. it isn't as if their sex life has ever suffered, because if there's one thing they've definitely, undoubtedly excelled in, it's this. jungkook is impressed, proud of them sometimes when he thinks of the creativity they've tapped into over the years just to get the time alone whenever they need it the most, this is far from the first time that yoongi has kissed him like this, touched him like this even just this week but it doesn't matter. because every single time still hits him just as hard, because he knows his husband well enough to know when he's starting something, because his body is all too willing to take the signals and run with them, his breath hitching whenever yoongi's leg finds its way comfortably between his thighs and it's all jungkook can do not to make good use of it, to do something about it, choosing instead to let the slow, tantalizing sort of intimacy burn them up from the inside out this time instead.

yoongi's question pulls a small smile to jungkook's lips, he can't help it even as his husband mouths along his jaw, sends pleasant tingles running over his nerves, the soft sigh only encouragement to bury his fingers farther into yoongi's hair, gently carding through the soft strands a few times, absent, affectionate touches that are all starting to get that slight hint of something else lingering right around the edges. "mm.. i think we should keep doing this," he responds easily, his own voice dipping into something lower, softer, matching yoongi's tease effortlessly. "unless you had something else particular in mind?"

Yoongi doesn't think he can properly explain it. Shit, he can barely even comprehend how this gorgeous creature named Jeon Jungkook just lives with him and loves him and picks up his dirty clothes and cooks the best food in the world for him and fools around on couches with him like they're teenagers and still smiles at Yoongi like he's the fucking sunshine in their life. Jungkook doesn't even realize how irresistible he is just being himself, how beautiful he is when he lets his guard down. Even more so when he doesn't try quite so hard. When he lets the fixed control and planning and perfection fall away. When he simply lets Yoongi hold him steady instead and take over for a while instead.

The first time Jungkook admitted it to him, struggling through the raw, honest words, cheeks flushed, Yoongi patiently listened. He had also died a little bit inside--in the best possible way. Yoongi probably had enough kinks to last a lifetime with Jungkook, but hearing his husband shyly explain what he wanted him to do, what he wanted to explore, was hands down the hottest and most open Yoongi had ever seen him. He had told the younger man as much, encouraging him with gentle strokes to his back and reassuring kisses, reminding Jungkook that this is what the counseling was all about, that he could always be free to tell Yoongi what he wanted--both in and out of the bedroom.

"Mmm." Jungkook's fingers bring more of that soft pleasure, the touches to his hair so indulgent that he closes his eyes for just a few moments. It'd be far too easy to just let the younger keep going, slowly pull him under, but he has to remind himself as well. He doesn't want this to just be like any other night--as much as he loves having sex, any sex, all the sex, with Jungkook, his husband's honesty with him has sparked a quiet revelation that's been consuming his thoughts ever since. Yoongi thumbs over the faint scar on Jungkook's cheekbone, a much-loved spot, as he continues to hold his face close. Another deep kiss.

At the same time his hand dips further down, lightly grabbing a handful of Jungkook's ass, appreciating the way that the sweatpants give underneath his hold, all soft, flexible material. "I have plenty in mind for you, babe," he hums, punctuating the low, husky words with another light slap.

it's not something that jungkook thinks about on a regular basis, or even on a short term basis. it's not even something that he realizes that hes doing half the time, because of the way that its so ingrained in him, simply a part of his personality, the way that he can't seem to let things go. it's just how he's been for far too long to change it now, the kind of person he's grown into, and, really, the beautiful thing is that yoongi takes it, takes every inch of him, accepts every single part of him without even the smallest bit of hesitation. jungkook never could have hoped to find someone like this. he never would have thought that someone like this would ever exist, someone so perfect, someone that he could love this much, someone that could feel like home, that he could feel so safe and sound with without even having to try.

because for as uptight as jungkook can be, as put together and planned out and in control, the truth is that sometimes it just gets exhausting. sometimes he doesn't like being that person, sometimes he just wants to let go of all of it, wants to loosen it up and breathe for a little while, without any fear or anxieties about what will happen when he does. and yoongi is there for that, too. yoongi is all too willing to help him take the load off, more than obvious now after the things that they've talked about, after all of the open honesty that jungkook has given him now, even if he's sure that it was probably the most embarrassed he's ever been around his husband so far. they haven't talked about it since, not since laying it all out on the table, not since discussing any potential details right then and there so that they were prepared just in case. and, really, jungkook is okay with that. he isn't expecting anything, not even right now, when yoongi keeps kissing him like that, when his hand starts wandering and the squeeze and smack to his ass make jungkook laugh slightly, soft and low between them, because he can't help it.

he can't help the way that that low tease, the drawl of yoongi's voice even as simple as this switches the heat up a little bit more, fans the flame all on its own, and that's before jungkook decides to press himself pointedly against yoongi a bit more. that's before he rocks his hips against yoongi's thigh lightly, more for the sake of teasing and making it obvious what kind of activities he's interested in than actually starting something up already, but he can't deny that the tease feels good, the way that it prickles along his nerves, already has him wanting more, better friction, closer, anything and everything that yoongi might be willing to give him. right now, jungkook is completely and entirely unaware of anything out of the ordinary that might be running through yoongi's mind. he's too focused on all of this instead, on everything about his husband taking over all of his senses, jungkook pulling back from the kiss just slightly, just enough to give a teasing remark of his own in response, eyes dark and yet also shining with a clear glint of mischief all at once. "let's see what you've got, then."

Yoongi doesn't need Jungkook to tell him twice--for all of his charming words and frequent, colorful (and sometimes tear-filled) declarations of adoration toward his husband, he knows just as well when to shut up and let his hands do the talking instead. Jungkook won't be slapping away his touch this time, which is just as well, because he isn't going to be letting him go at all tonight. Yoongi's not exactly a planner, at least not to the impressive extent that Jungkook is, but he knows where he wants to take this, knows that he's going to attempt something they've ever only talked about, knows that no matter what, Jungkook will follow and trust him because that's the kind of person he is. That's the kind of man he married, who confidently launched into their future ahead holding tightly to his hand.

He's also the kind of man whose virtue is not patience. Yoongi can't help but smirk at the way Jungkook presses himself down against him, just barely starting to rock against the thigh still buried between the younger's legs. The movement's just enough to get his point across, Yoongi watching the dark shift in Jungkook's eyes when the tease hits a little close to home--and that's when he pounces. Yoongi uses the grip on his husband's ass as leverage to grind him nice and slow against his own body, building off of the back and forth. Jungkook's dick rubs against his thigh on every push forward, the weight of it warm and familiar and delicious, Yoongi's hand tightening almost possessively on the younger man as he keeps it up. The friction won't be anywhere near enough for Jungkook, but he's just going to have to take it for now--just like how he'll have to take Yoongi sucking the sensitive spot near his pulse point, all quiet hunger and lazy drags of his tongue.

in all honesty, it never really takes much for jungkook, either. yoongi gets himself worked up just looking at jungkook, listening to him, thinking about him, and jungkook can get exasperated all he wants but the truth is that the second yoongi touches him, he's done for. it doesn't matter where they are doesn't atter what they're doing, if he has things he needs to focus on. even when he pushes his husband's hands away, the ghost of yoongi's touch always lingers, always, always burns under his skin and the only one who can put it out is the man who put it there in the first place.

right now is no exception. right now jungkook can already feel the heat simmering into something more low in his stomach, doesn't even care enough to be embarrassed in the slightest about how quickly he's getting hard. because they don't mess around, because he knows that yoongi touching him like this, that yoongi's mouth on him like this means something. it's something that he definitely wants more of, something that pulls a low, breathy sound from his lips because every drag of yoongi's thigh is coaxing him closer and closer to being completely, stupidly hard for his husband from practically nothing at all. but jungkook doesn't care. it's been a long day, and he's more than willing to fall into this, to do his best to try and work with yoongi's rhythm, hips rocking to grind against his husband's thigh harder, more fully each time. his fingers slip down to grip at the nape of yoongi's neck, wanting to touch, to keep the contact he can when their position won't let him do much else, something that helps prompt the way he decides to ask, before yoongi starts rendering him too useless to even think straight (something his husband does often and with alarming speed and precision sometimes), "wanna move somewhere else?"

It's been this way ever since they first got together years ago. It's the norm, hearing Jungkook's breathing stutter over a few well-aimed strokes, the way his entire body seems to shudder in anticipation with the slightest touch, how even the impossibly slow drag of Jungkook against his thigh has him spilling out a noise Yoongi can build entire wet dreams around. Of course there isn't shit to be embarrassed or teased about. This is just what they do. In fact, Yoongi would be concerned if his husband wasn't already half-hard by now. Which is why he gives the younger another appreciative smack, though this time it lands on Jungkook's own thigh, straddling him all tight and strong and Yoongi just wants to shove away the sweatpants and sink his teeth into him. All of him. But there'll be time for that in a while.

And as fun as it can be to make Jungkook cum just like this on the couch, frustrated and rigid with the pressure to hold himself steady, his plans for tonight do actually require some space. Satisfied with the last, darkening bruise he's left against the man above him, Yoongi finally gives Jungkook some space, pulling away with a lingering gaze. "Let's," he nods, helping the younger to scramble off of him so he can get up himself, wasting no time in drawing Jungkook in again the moment they're standing. More heated this time, Yoongi clutching onto Jungkook's bare bicep as he shuffles them back to the bedroom. They've done this dance a hundred times, and Yoongi happens to think they're experts on it by now, stubbornly refusing to let go of each other as they sidestep any potential falling disaster. No one can say they're not skilled at this.

it's just good with yoongi. it's always been good with yoongi, and the years of practice they've had only mean years of the older man learning exactly what it is that makes it good, what to do to make it better, and jungkook can't be upset about reaping the benefits of all of yoongi's hard work. besides, he'd like to think he's much the same, and if the way that yoongi looks at him, the way that he reacts whenever jungkook does actually try to drive him crazy are anything to go by, he'd say that they're on a pretty even playing field. they're crazy about each other, inside and out - and right now, jungkook really, really can't help that he's steadily focusing more and more on the out part.

it's yoongi's fault, or at least that's what jungkook will blame it on. it's yoongi's fault for being so fucking attractive, yoongi's fault for kissing him like that, for grinding against him like that, for already biting a sucking what jungkook knows will be an array of nice colors against his neck within a couple of hours - and fuck, it's ridiculous how little it takes for jungkook to be left wanting so much more. there's a very real part of him that's relieved when yoongi agrees, when he isn't going to just leave him to suffer here on the couch, and jungkook doesn't have to be told to move as soon as his husband starts shifting. scrambling is a good word for the way that he moves off of him, manages somehow to end up stable on his feet even though he's being swept up all over again a matter of seconds later. jungkook loves it, fucking loves every second of it and it really is kind of amazing how well they manage it, walking blindly down the hallway and into the bedroom without having to take their hands off of each other now that they've started, and jungkook is definitely starting now, now that he isn't trapped and unable to do any of the things that he wants to. now, he can kiss yoongi just the way that he's been dying to all day, whether he fully realized it then or not. now, he can let one hand grip near yoongi's waist for stability while the other is free to touch, slipping under his shirt to get at bare skin, fingers sliding over his stomach, into the slight dip of his waist and up along his side by the time that they make it where they need to be, when he feels the backs of his legs hitting up against what he knows from experience is the side of the bed and so he pulls back just enough to let himself fall back onto it, though the hand gripping at yoongi's waist moves to find his husband's hand instead, gripping onto it so that he can tug yoongi along with him, even if he knows that he doesn't have to.

Yoongi doesn't miss a beat, letting himself be tugged right on top of the younger man, the two falling together in a way that has him suddenly hovering over Jungkook instead. It's the perfect position, giving him the opportunity to push them further up the bed, crawling on his hands and knees along Jungkook's body until the other can collapse against the pillows, their kiss only broken by impatience and heavy breaths. Jungkook's wandering hands are still everywhere on him, leaving a trail of heat along Yoongi's bare skin, and damn, he's so needy already. There's an insistence, a relief in the way he touches, reminding Yoongi just how restricted his husband has been all day. The thought of Jungkook waiting all those hours for their time alone, looking forward to this moment right here only tightens the pit of arousal inside him, his own need more than obvious straining against his favorite distressed skinny jeans.

Pulling himself back just to ease some distance between them, Yoongi gazes down at the man sprawled on the bed below, clothes rumpled from getting put into the right position, expression flushed, expectant, hair quickly falling out of its picture perfect styling from before. He drinks everything in, from the cute little mole just beneath his full bottom lip, looking raw and kiss-bitten, down to the way his T-shirt has been hiked up his toned abs, pushed aside sharp collar-bones, offering irresistible little glimpses of an already perfect body that just make Yoongi mindlessly want.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he murmurs, awe and love and lust laid bare in his expression as he openly rakes over every last inch of his husband like it's the first time all over again. He'll never get used to it. He'll never totally understand how good Jungkook looks. But now, he can at least properly take his fill, Yoongi dipping back down to brush his lips over the exposed dip of his collarbones, his shoulder, kissing and nibbling his way to Jungkook's right bicep while his hands ever so slowly lift the hem of that ridiculous Iron Man T-shirt.

thank god, jungkook thinks, for the way that yoongi doesn't miss a beat. thank god that his husband always seems to be on the same wavelength, that he doesn't have to say anything, do anything else in order to get the older man coming down with him, hovering over him in exactly the way that jungkook wants. it's just another thing that's been this way since the beginning, something they've fallen into so easily, effortlessly, and it isn't to say that they don't venture out of the box. it isn't to say that they don't switch things up, that it isn't exciting, that they haven't done their fair share of experimenting to figure out what works and what isn't for them. but at the end of the day, jungkook just can't deny how much he loves this. he can't deny how good it is, having yoongi on top of it. he can't deny how good it makes him feel, even right now, when nothing has even happened, when they're settling into a better position against the pillows and sheets and yoongi is pulling back just to look down at him, dragging his gaze over jungkook's body so obviously in that way that always makes his chest swell with pride a little, knowing how much his husband likes, appreciates all the hard work that he puts into it.

yoongi's words just pull a hint of a grin onto jungkook's lips, makes it linger there until the older man is leaning down and sending shivers over his skin with the brush of lips against his collarbone, with the way he works over him, slowly, easily melting jungkook into something even more pliable with every passing second. because it's just been one of those days, because jungkook isn't going to deny how much he wants this, isn't going to keep himself from taking advantage now that they have the time, the space, now that he knows he has yoongi all to himself for the rest of the night. he couldn't possibly want anything more, and it's obvious in the way that he's so hard for yoongi right now that he really doesn't need any more encouragement, even if he knows that that isn't how his husband works. jungkook loves it, though. he loves everything that yoongi does, every single agonizing second of it, obvious in how his breaths are already coming a little fast, a little shaky, the way he arches just enough to help with the slide of his shirt and to try and convince yoongi to push it the rest of the way up and off a little faster. his own hands aren't wasting much time, fingers skimming the length of yoongi's sides before gripping at the bottom of his shirt, tugging it up, clear in his intent and the fact that he wants it off in the way that he does so, pulls it up as much as he can get it on his own without yoongi moving to help him out. "take this off," he breathes, as if it wasn't obvious enough, as if yoongi needs to be told, but jungkook will do it anyway, just in case.

Yoongi has absolutely no problem in complimenting his husband like this on the regular, to varying degrees of inappropriateness, but he never loses the fire behind the words. Every single time is just as honest as the first, and the feeling he gets when he looks at Jungkook now, splayed out all pliant and ready and arching for more in their bed, in their home they built together...truthfully, how can there be anything in the world better than this? Sure, he was a piece of work when they first started going out, still just a teenager who waltzed into his life with that earnestness and seductive pull of a smile and legs that seemed to go on forever--Yoongi had hated being drawn in like a moth to a flame, even worse when Sejin seemed just as captivated by Jungkook hyung on the ice cream date he eventually gave into. But Jungkook's charms have only increased with every passing year, and he wears maturity far better than Yoongi thinks he ever could, apparent in the muscles spanning his entire body, his wide, toned back, the masculine cut of his jaw, a face that belongs more in magazine spreads than behind computers--

Shit. That grin does him in when he glances up from where he's mouthing along the smooth swell of his arm muscles. Yoongi wants to kiss him breathless, but it seems that he's making quick work of that already just with a few simple touches, feeling the rapid rise and fall of the younger's chest, hearing the shallow breaths. The thing is, Yoongi's nowhere near finished exploring and claiming and serving Jungkook's body, the hunger to properly worship him not even close to being sated--and if the other thinks this is simply their usual round of foreplay, than he has another thing coming. As willing as he is to fall headfirst into his husband, Yoongi's not going to be convinced to merely cut to the chase and fuck him, not if he has any say in it. And tonight, he's fully prepared to exercise his say in it.

"Alright," he allows, voice husky and maybe even a little amused as he helps Jungkook take the rest of his own shirt off, like he's in some joke the other isn't privy to yet. Yoongi ignores the pleasant, cool air on his already over heated skin in order to undress Jungkook as well, hands slowly forcing the younger man's shirt up his chest and over his extended arms, flinging both articles of clothing on their otherwise neat floor. Before Jungkook can bring his arms back down to touch him, however, Yoongi grasps his wrists meaningfully, fingers tightening around him so he knows to pay attention. "But keep your hands here. I'm not done with you yet."

It isn't the first time Yoongi's made that request of him (some of that married life experimentation), but it's been a while--he's also going solely off of trust, not bothering with actually restraining or tying Jungkook in place just for the hell of it. Right now, it'll be hotter watching him try to stay disciplined all on his own, but even more than that, it's attractive for practical reasons--with Jungkook's hands out of the way and not touching him, he can focus solely on the touches Yoongi will lavish on him instead. And he plans to do quite a lot of that over the next several minutes, Yoongi easing back down to pepper kisses all along the younger's chest once he's satisfied Jungkook will listen to him, hands slowly sliding up and down the entire length of his body until they briefly rest behind his knees. There they gently push Jungkook's legs farther apart, spreading him nice and easy as he drags a tongue down the younger's breastbone, so much tan, smooth skin.

it's definitely not something that jungkook is unused to. it's nothing new, the way that yoongi looks at him, the way that yoongi feels about him, the way that every single inch of him is so, so obvious, just the way that it has been for years now. because there's no reason for him to hide it, there's no reason for either of them to hide anything from each other, and that's only becoming more and more obvious as the years go on. it's especially obvious now, now that they've dealt with the little bumps along the road that they've dealt with, the counseling that coaxed jungkook into easing back some of the only walls that still existed around yoongi at all. there's nothing to hide, nothing worth hiding, and especially not right now, not like this. not after jungkook has had such a long day, not after he's spent more time than he may be willing to admit to thinking about getting into any kind of position like this with his husband, of taking full, complete advantage of their no-kid weekend - and that was before yoongi surprised him by taking care of absolutely everything.

now, there's nothing left for jungkook to do but sink into this, but sit back and enjoy it - at least, to a point. he's still himself, every bit himself of himself that he can never completely shake off or put away. jungkook isn't someone who has a lot of patience, and particularly not whenever yoongi is touching him, definitely not when he wants yoongi to be touching him more, whenever he wants to be touching yoongi more. it placates him for a moment when yoongi tugs his own shirt off, when he's reaching to take care of jungkook's a second later, the younger's eyes trailing over him just as much, dark, wanting, jungkook licking his lips briefly without even realizing it because god, there's so much that he wants. he doesn't expect it, the way that yoongi holds his wrists in place up over his head. it definitely isn't the first time it's happened, but jungkook can never know when it's coming, can never know what's going through his husband's head until it's happening, and he loves it and hates it all at the same time.

still, regardless of anything else, jungkook can't pretend that it isn't a hell of a fucking turn on. they're lucky, so lucky that they're so compatible with things like this, right where it counts, and right now is definitely no exception. right now jungkook is left with no choice but to listen, crossing his wrists over his head to make it a little easier to resist temptation, to show yoongi that he's serious. he stays just as pliant, maybe even moreso the longer yoongi touches him, spreads his legs easily, more than willingly, head tipping back and something between a soft sigh and an impatient little sound already coming out between them.

Yoongi's gaze flicks back up when the younger man settles his arms in a better position above him, wrists locked as the rest of him remains completely relaxed. Loosened up that much further by lingering touches, encouraging little strokes up and down Jungkook's thighs that leave his thumb tracing the seam. Even through the thick fabric he can feel the hard muscle underneath, can practically map out every curve and vein and freckle buried underneath without even needing to see it and it makes his cock throb heavily in the tight confines of his jeans. His husband isn't much better off, but it doesn't for one moment deter Yoongi from his languid exploration, focused on the larger objective of devoting all his attention to Jungkook's body in a way he hasn't done in what feels like weeks. Which for him, practically seems like a lifetime.

Yoongi's tongue continues to search out old favorites--one moment he's massaging Jungkook's nipple with slow, teasing drags, fascinated by the pretty flush blooming across his skin, and the next he's lowering in the dip of his belly button, mouthing almost reverantly along his toned stomach. The way it clenches and tenses under his warm breath makes it all the more satisfying to be up close like this, where every reaction is immediate, just like Jungkook's needy little sound echoing in his ears. He tastes like heaven, every part of him, and god, he feels like it too. Yoongi nuzzles against the waistband of Jungkook's sweat pants, two fingers hooked into the elastic as he presses more open-mouthed kisses into the soft skin there. His own knees feel weak as he breathes in deep.

"Still can't believe you're mine," he says lowly, fingers grazing the edge of Jungkook's briefs as they continue to tug his sweatpants down, giving him more access. Allowing more kisses. It's so easy to lose himself in this. "How the fuck did I get so lucky...just look at you, babe."

it's a love-hate relationship, really, the way that jungkook feels about it whenever yoongi gets like this. because he knows exactly how much his husband enjoys it, has learned over the years that there's just something about giving slow, agonizing attention to every single inch of jungkook's body that does something for him. and it's not like jungkook can lie, not like he can even try to say that it doesn't do something - a lot of somethings - for him, too. because it does. fuck, it does.

before jungkook ever met yoongi, he honestly never would have expected this kind of thing to be something he could get off on so easily. he never could have seen himself so willing to give up that control, to give up everything, to place himself in someone's hands so entirely and trust that the would take care of him in every possible way. he never could have imagined that the slow, heated drags of tongue, breath, fingers on skin could make it so much better, could get him so much hotter in just a matter of seconds. but yoongi does. yoongi always does, yoongi always has, and jungkook swears it's fucking insane, how it feels like his husband is some kind of expert, like he can play jungkook just like he's some kind of instrument, make him fall apart so effortlessly, even after all these years, every single time. it doesn't make sense, but really, jungkook doesn't care. he doesn't need it to, not when it's easier, better just to let go and focus on the way that it feels, exactly the way that he knows that yoongi wants him to.

there's no way to know how long it's been since they started, since they were just kissing each other out on the couch in the living room. all jungkook really knows is that it hasn't been too long, but it doesn't matter, because his husband is way too fucking good, hitting all of his weakest spots and getting him so hard, aching for a different kind of attention, for yoongi's fingers, his mouth, anything at all to just slide down that much lower and give him what he really wants right now. he doesn't even realize it, the handful of needy sounds that have spilled from his lips by then, the way that he tenses every so often, how his fingers stretch out and then ball into fists to keep from moving, from touching just like yoongi wants him to. jungkook can't help himself entirely, though. he can't help every involuntary hitch of breath, every flush or spread of goosebumps, every clench and jump of his muscles underneath yoongi's skilled mouth, fingers, everything. he can't help the way that he arches again, hips tilting up, clearly searching, asking for more. "fuck.." he breathes out in response, word laced with the hint of a laugh because only yoongi can do this to him, can make his heart squeeze and feel so full while he's hard and wanting every single thing about him. "babe, you're gonna kill me."

Of course he enjoys giving slow, agonizing attention to every single inch of Jungkook's body. It's one of his favorite things in the entire world, getting to do this to Jungkook, getting to experience his husband in a way no one else can even come close to. But the way he sees it, it's not really about himself at all. It's always been about Jungkook--what he wants, what he deserves, what he should have access to whenever he fucking needs it. Every kiss, every stroke of his fingers, every wandering breath along flushed, trembling skin is all for him, all his to take and melt into. There's no greater joy Yoongi has as his husband than making Jungkook feel deliriously, thoroughly loved beyond even his wildest fantasies, whether that happens in the bedroom or outside of it--though it's always much more fun inside.

Above everything else, Yoongi just wants to make Jungkook feel good. And thankfully, the younger man has no problem in telling him just how nice of a job he's doing in accomplishing that goal, the soft, breathy sounds growing increasingly helpless, body shifting restlessly underneath him, looking so shamelessly aroused that it has Yoongi's heart beating wildly in his chest. Everything in him wants to give in, suck Jungkook off just like Yoongi knows he wants, what his body is practically begging for, but he holds onto his resolve, sucking particularly hard along Jungkook's hipbone just to quiet his own groan.

"Already?" he asks when he resurfaces, that husky, touched out laugh shooting straight to his cock. A smirk hangs on his lips, eyes dangerously dark as the rest of him calmly continues his languid assault, sweatpants now tugged halfway down Jungkook's thighs. His fingers start toying with his briefs next, smoothing along the thin, smooth fabric without actually touching him. Hooking his forefinger into the material and pulling up, he quickly releases the elastic band of his briefs, making it snap smartly against Jungkook's lower belly. It's a satisfying sound, Yoongi watching in amusement as his husband's hips jerk forward.

"We're just getting started." It's a low drawl of a promise, Yoongi leaning down so he can drag his lips ever so faintly along the all-too-obvious outline of Jungkook's cock, using the lightest amount of pressure possible. He's so ridiculously hard that it has his mouth watering.

Edited 2017-02-16 04:41 (UTC)

jungkook would like to think that he's gotten better at this. he'd like to think that he can handle himself more, has a little more control on it than he used to when they first got together, when he was younger and so completely unused to absolutely everything that yoongi gave him. the first few times that yoongi did anything like this, jungkook didn't know what to do with himself. he didn't know how to wait, how to take it slow, didn't know how far his limits could be stretched because he had never tried. barely five minutes would be more than enough to get him writhing and arching under yoongi's touches, frustrated, asking him for more, to please, for the love of god just fuck me, just do something already.

he's definitely gotten better with that. and be's also gotten better with just taking it, something else that was a struggle, being able to let go and accept that yoongi wanted to do this just as much, that it was okay to just relax and feel good without guilt or worry. now, they've done this enough times that jungkook doesn't even falter. he just falls into it, lets his husband ease all the tension out of him and replace it with tension of a completely different kind, the kind that burns and pools steadily, insistently between his thighs the longer it goes on, the more time yoongi spends letting his mouth explore absolutely everywhere because god. it's no secret that jungkook kind of has a thing for it, but he also can't help it if his husband is so talented, does things with his tongue that jungkook never could have even imagined before meeting him and makes him feel so, so impossibly good every time.

no, it's all yoongi's fault. yoongi's fault that he's so worked up now, hard as hell just from the slow, languid trail the older has made down the length of his body. it's yoongi's fault that jungkook's hips are gently canting up, searching for more in the way yoongi's touches smooth over his underwear but not where he wants them. it's definitely yoongi's fault when even the lightest pressure of his lips along his clothed cock get jungkook letting out a downright groan, head tipping back, hips tilting up to try and get more of that feeling. it's a combination of that and yoongi's answer to that comment, the way he sounds like this, and jungkook is still managing to listen by some miracle, one hand slipping just barely, just enough to wrap fingers around his own wrist so that he has something to hold onto. "ah, fuck.. you're gonna torture me, aren't you?"

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