baekri (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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kkaeppsong2015-02-25 08:40 pm
baekri) wrote in kkaeppsong2015-02-25 08:40 pm
o18.
soldiers missing home
xiuhan
982 words
minseok isn't the kind of person that does this.
sure, the draft wasn't exactly something that he could control. it isn't like he has a choice over anything in his life right now, and that's precisely why he's here. because he's stationed in a completely foreign country and he's lucky enough that the other members of his troop insist on dragging him out to show him that it isn't all bad.
tonight, it's chanyeol's turn. and tonight he finds himself in the kind of bar that he always saw in the movies but never thought actually existed. something about it feels all wrong from the moment he steps inside, like there's a spell that's been cast on him and he'll have at least one regret hanging over his head by the time he leaves.
the worst part is that chanyeol is right. even with that piece of dread in the back of his mind, it isn't all bad. even if he feels self conscious in his uniform, adjusting the tie while he waits for the bartender to mix his go-to drink, no one else is looking at him. this place is free of judgement, that much is clear.
there are more soldiers than he expected, not all of them familiar faces. they aren't the only ones there, though. there's a sprinkled assortment of others, all of them male, minseok notices, and the realization starts to dawn on him. he wonders if he's really been so obvious, a thought that settles alongside the realization that he isn't going to be ostracized here, not for this. at least chanyeol isn't going to see him differently, and that much is clear by the way that his face lights up as soon as he spots someone that he clearly knows. it's a shorter boy, one with dark hair and a loud laugh and somehow minseok feels like he shouldn't be looking when chanyeol hoists him up so he can wrap legs around his waist. the boy steals his hat to wear it on his own head instead, laughing when chanyeol spins him around and leans up to kiss him. he swallows and tries not to think about how he can't remember if chanyeol said he had anyone at home waiting for him or not.
you can't think about those kinds of things here. that's what he keeps telling himself.
it isn't a bad way to unwind, all things considered. it doesn't feel right but it doesn't feel wrong, either. there's live music and decent alcohol and an hour in nobody has caught minseok's attention. he's content to keep his focus elsewhere, on the pleasant buzz in his mind and the steadily lowering liquid in his glass.
then he looks at the stage.
all the dread from before comes rushing back into his system, so fast that he could fall over from the force of it. before it was background noise but now it's like the boy's voice is the only thing that he can hear in this place. it's more beautiful than he would have realized if he hadn't looked up, just like the boy himself. he's starting to regret it already.
he doesn't perform all night. after his set the boy makes his way to the bar for something to soothe his throat. it's like some cruel twist of fate, the way he ends up pressed against the counter right next to the spot minseok has taken up for himself. his hair is bleached, dyed and he smells sweet and minseok's fingers tighten around his glass because he can't do this.
the boy smiles at him, and he can't. chanyeol's words echo in his head, the things he said to convince minseok to come out with him in the first place. it's not all bad, minseok hyung. you have to let yourself loosen up once in a while. out here, you'll go crazy if you don't.
minseok can't deny that, so he stops trying to. he turns to the side. he smiles and introduces himself, and everything slowly starts to fall apart.
they talk for so long that he loses track of time passing. they shouldn't be out too late, but there's something about this that doesn't feel real enough for that to matter. he learns that the boy's name is luhan. he lives around here. he likes to sing and he laughs at all of minseok's bad jokes and the brush of his fingers sets off a kind of warmth that minseok didn't even know he was craving.
"i haven't seen you before. i bet you just got stationed here, right?" luhan is genuinely curious, and minseok nods.
"it's been about a week." it's easy to talk to luhan, easy to be honest and let everything else happen naturally. just like the way that somehow luhan has ended up even closer, with minseok's arm around his waist, fingers toying with the fabric at the small of his back and a shy smile on his pretty lips.
"do you have someone back home?"
it's a simple question. minseok could say anything, but it's too easy to be honest with luhan, even if he doesn't want to be.
"yes."
luhan nods, but he doesn't look away. the smile changes into something harder to read, but minseok doesn't miss the distance that's suddenly moving between them.
"are you the kind of guy who does this anyway?"
he isn't judging, and minseok knows that. but he still hesitates. in the end, it's the honesty that wins out, and he's regretting it already.
"no."
luhan smiles again, leaning forward enough to kiss him on the cheek. it's brief and it's nothing at all, but it leaves minseok instantly wanting more.
"then don't."
minseok watches him walk away. he isn't the kind of person that does this, so he doesn't.
he never knew that this was what he would regret.
xiuhan
982 words
minseok isn't the kind of person that does this.
sure, the draft wasn't exactly something that he could control. it isn't like he has a choice over anything in his life right now, and that's precisely why he's here. because he's stationed in a completely foreign country and he's lucky enough that the other members of his troop insist on dragging him out to show him that it isn't all bad.
tonight, it's chanyeol's turn. and tonight he finds himself in the kind of bar that he always saw in the movies but never thought actually existed. something about it feels all wrong from the moment he steps inside, like there's a spell that's been cast on him and he'll have at least one regret hanging over his head by the time he leaves.
the worst part is that chanyeol is right. even with that piece of dread in the back of his mind, it isn't all bad. even if he feels self conscious in his uniform, adjusting the tie while he waits for the bartender to mix his go-to drink, no one else is looking at him. this place is free of judgement, that much is clear.
there are more soldiers than he expected, not all of them familiar faces. they aren't the only ones there, though. there's a sprinkled assortment of others, all of them male, minseok notices, and the realization starts to dawn on him. he wonders if he's really been so obvious, a thought that settles alongside the realization that he isn't going to be ostracized here, not for this. at least chanyeol isn't going to see him differently, and that much is clear by the way that his face lights up as soon as he spots someone that he clearly knows. it's a shorter boy, one with dark hair and a loud laugh and somehow minseok feels like he shouldn't be looking when chanyeol hoists him up so he can wrap legs around his waist. the boy steals his hat to wear it on his own head instead, laughing when chanyeol spins him around and leans up to kiss him. he swallows and tries not to think about how he can't remember if chanyeol said he had anyone at home waiting for him or not.
you can't think about those kinds of things here. that's what he keeps telling himself.
it isn't a bad way to unwind, all things considered. it doesn't feel right but it doesn't feel wrong, either. there's live music and decent alcohol and an hour in nobody has caught minseok's attention. he's content to keep his focus elsewhere, on the pleasant buzz in his mind and the steadily lowering liquid in his glass.
then he looks at the stage.
all the dread from before comes rushing back into his system, so fast that he could fall over from the force of it. before it was background noise but now it's like the boy's voice is the only thing that he can hear in this place. it's more beautiful than he would have realized if he hadn't looked up, just like the boy himself. he's starting to regret it already.
he doesn't perform all night. after his set the boy makes his way to the bar for something to soothe his throat. it's like some cruel twist of fate, the way he ends up pressed against the counter right next to the spot minseok has taken up for himself. his hair is bleached, dyed and he smells sweet and minseok's fingers tighten around his glass because he can't do this.
the boy smiles at him, and he can't. chanyeol's words echo in his head, the things he said to convince minseok to come out with him in the first place. it's not all bad, minseok hyung. you have to let yourself loosen up once in a while. out here, you'll go crazy if you don't.
minseok can't deny that, so he stops trying to. he turns to the side. he smiles and introduces himself, and everything slowly starts to fall apart.
they talk for so long that he loses track of time passing. they shouldn't be out too late, but there's something about this that doesn't feel real enough for that to matter. he learns that the boy's name is luhan. he lives around here. he likes to sing and he laughs at all of minseok's bad jokes and the brush of his fingers sets off a kind of warmth that minseok didn't even know he was craving.
"i haven't seen you before. i bet you just got stationed here, right?" luhan is genuinely curious, and minseok nods.
"it's been about a week." it's easy to talk to luhan, easy to be honest and let everything else happen naturally. just like the way that somehow luhan has ended up even closer, with minseok's arm around his waist, fingers toying with the fabric at the small of his back and a shy smile on his pretty lips.
"do you have someone back home?"
it's a simple question. minseok could say anything, but it's too easy to be honest with luhan, even if he doesn't want to be.
"yes."
luhan nods, but he doesn't look away. the smile changes into something harder to read, but minseok doesn't miss the distance that's suddenly moving between them.
"are you the kind of guy who does this anyway?"
he isn't judging, and minseok knows that. but he still hesitates. in the end, it's the honesty that wins out, and he's regretting it already.
"no."
luhan smiles again, leaning forward enough to kiss him on the cheek. it's brief and it's nothing at all, but it leaves minseok instantly wanting more.
"then don't."
minseok watches him walk away. he isn't the kind of person that does this, so he doesn't.
he never knew that this was what he would regret.