jungkook is nearly ready to convince himself that he's hearing things, that he must have been hearing things, that there's absolutely no way that this could possibly be happening right now. to put it simply, even the thought of it feels impossible. it feels impossible just like how he felt when they first started talking, when yoongi dedicated a video to him for the first time, complimented him, when he greeted him with a hug the moment they saw each other in person. it feels too good to be true. feels far away, the kind of thing that he's wanted, that he knows that he's wanted, for months on end now. the kind of thing that he would never say, because he could never inconvenience yoongi like that. because he's much too good of a friend now for jungkook to feel comfortable risking it. because he's always told himself that having yoongi in any way was better, so much better than even the possibility of something more, only because he couldn't handle the other side of the whole thing.
but now, right now, there's something else entirely looking him right in the face. something he never could have prepared for, never could have expected, and jungkook feels rooted to the spot. all that he can do is continue looking at yoongi, eyes wide, heart thundering in his chest, feeling like there's every possibility that it could beat itself out if this continues. he's wondered before, what it would sound like if yoongi said those things to him. what it would feel like, what it would be like. knowing feels even more impossible than the alternative, in a way that he would never be able to put into words. his mind feels like it's racing, so many thoughts colliding and tripping over one another that he isn't entirely sure where to start. he isn't sure if he even knows how to. but he has to. he has to say something, has to give yoongi some idea of what he's thinking, how he's feeling. he has no idea what to say, and maybe that's why everything comes rushing out all at once. "hyung, i'm... i ... i really like you," is the first thing that comes out, the words blurted more than anything else, nearly involuntary. but once they're out there, he can't stop. "i've really liked you for a long time, actually. but i never wanted to .. i mean, we're friends, and i didn't.. i'd rather be friends with you than nothing at all. you know? but, you're so ... i've always thought that i. i would be so lucky, if i could find someone like you."
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but now, right now, there's something else entirely looking him right in the face. something he never could have prepared for, never could have expected, and jungkook feels rooted to the spot. all that he can do is continue looking at yoongi, eyes wide, heart thundering in his chest, feeling like there's every possibility that it could beat itself out if this continues. he's wondered before, what it would sound like if yoongi said those things to him. what it would feel like, what it would be like. knowing feels even more impossible than the alternative, in a way that he would never be able to put into words. his mind feels like it's racing, so many thoughts colliding and tripping over one another that he isn't entirely sure where to start. he isn't sure if he even knows how to. but he has to. he has to say something, has to give yoongi some idea of what he's thinking, how he's feeling. he has no idea what to say, and maybe that's why everything comes rushing out all at once. "hyung, i'm... i ... i really like you," is the first thing that comes out, the words blurted more than anything else, nearly involuntary. but once they're out there, he can't stop. "i've really liked you for a long time, actually. but i never wanted to .. i mean, we're friends, and i didn't.. i'd rather be friends with you than nothing at all. you know? but, you're so ... i've always thought that i. i would be so lucky, if i could find someone like you."