[yoongi/jungkook] ; heart shaker

[toughkookie]

jungkook feels like he's been waiting for this for at least a lifetime. sometimes it seems like that; he goes back and forth between feeling like he's known yoongi for years and feeling like it's only been a little while. neither option is quite right, and the length of time doesn't really matter - what matters is how comfortable jungkook feels, always has felt talking to yoongi. what matters is the way that he makes his heart race a little bit too fast and his skin flush just a little too hot, how jungkook feels every time he sees - or even thinks about - a picture of him. he has a crush. jungkook knows that. he's completely, utterly, head over heels in like with yoongi hyung and he absolutely knows it. what he isn't entirely sure of, though, is everything else that comes with it. it's hard to know what yoongi thinks, how exactly he's feeling, especially when jungkook is far, far too shy to ever just come out and ask him. but he can't help feeling like the older man making this trip, coming here just to meet him, to see him, to hang out with him - well, it's got to mean something, right?

it does mean something. that's what jungkook tells himself whenever he gets ready, and thank god he started so early in the morning even though they aren't meeting until the afternoon. it's the same struggle as always, only worse, somehow. jungkook has no idea how many times he changes before he ends up settled on something casual, normal, something like what he wears every other day - comfortable, fitted (and only slightly ripped) black jeans and an oversized white tshirt. he spends far too long fussing with his hair just to pull a beanie on over it at the last moment, stepping into his old, worn pair of timberlands on the way out the door. it's almost like he's a different person - the outside definitely doesn't match the inside, the only real giveaways that he's the very same person who posts his art online being the sketchbook he brings along in his bag and the small cluster of flowers painted on the inside of his wrist on one side, leftover from the last practice.

he makes sure to arrive early - far too early, and ends up regretting it not long after. sitting by himself in the little cafe means that he can't seem to stop looking at the door or out the windows, checking his phone even when it's still an hour away from the time they're supposed to meet. in the end, jungkook settles on pulling out his sketchbook, distracting himself by adding onto the last thing he'd been working on the night before.

Comments

[starrystarrynight]

The train to Busan isn't long. For a little under an hour Yoongi finds himself staring out the window with his earbuds in, wondering what to make of the last several months which have led him to this moment. He's never traveled for someone before, much less someone he's never actually met. Which is odd, because Jungkook's not a stranger. He's far from that. Most days it's the younger boy blowing up his phone, reminding him to get enough sleep, commenting on his latest video, asking him about his day. Most nights it's Jungkook's face that lingers. And all those silly, shy, adorable emojis that make Yoongi curious about the real expressions behind the screen. They've been talking for so long, so naturally, that he almost forgets that they haven't actually met face to face. Thank god the abrupt offer to visit didn't completely freak Jungkook out, shake things up too much. Thank god they both agreed--it was long overdue.

Jungkook picked the cafe, and it shows. It's tucked in some quieter part of the city, and it instantly feels familiar, cozy. Small enough that when he walks through the door he doesn't even have to search for the boy. That and he's the only one seated alone, head cast down, focused on whatever it is he's drawing. Yoongi doesn't have to look to know it's something amazing (but maybe he can still score a glimpse later on, see the magic first hand). He's dressed simply, a little less colorful than what Yoongi might have imagined, but there's no doubt in his mind that it's him. JK. Jeon Jungkook. A smile lights up before he even realizes it, and the black crew neck sweater hanging comfortably on his frame feels just a little bit warmer than before. There's something almost giddy in the way he steps forward, though his voice carries the same mild, husky warmth it always seems to have. "This seat taken?"

[toughkookie]

it's a blessing and a curse, how easily, how completely jungkook finds himself getting absolutely sucked into his sketch. it's a blessing because it means that there's no more fussing, no more chance for it, no more endless glancing out the window, no more rising, building anxiety about what's going to happen whenever yoongi steps through that door. but it's a curse because he gets sucked into it so easily, because in so many ways it feels like barely any time at all has passed, because he's focused on shading one particular corner of the piece when that voice hits him out of nowhere, and jungkook swears that he feels his heart jump up and lodge itself in his throat already, instantaneously.

because when jungkook looks up, there he is. there's no more time to prepare himself, no more time to think, to try and come up with what to say or do. yoongi is standing here, really standing here, and he looks exactly like every picture that jungkook has ever seen and yet somehow even better. somehow even more handsome, all kinds of perfect that jungkook would never admit to aloud but that have him staring for a fraction too long before everything else comes rushing in to catch up. first it's in the flush on his face, then the soft "ah, hyung-" that comes out before he can stop it or think of anything else to add. there's a smile, a mixture of the shy fluster and excitement and way too many other things that build inside of him. he may as well have not even heard the question, because he doesn't respond to it - instead, he finds himself standing up suddenly, though he has no idea why, and it shows in the way that he doesn't do much of anything else, suddenly feeling a little lost, embarrassed already.

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi doesn't notice that the staring goes a beat too long, because he's doing the exact same thing. He expected as much, that the boy's pretty looks would more or less render him tongue tied in person, but what he doesn't expect is the rest of him. And there's certainly plenty of him to look at. Yoongi's eyes widen ever so slightly as he takes in Jungkook's tall frame--definitely taller than himself--and broad chest and legs that seem to go on for days, thick and muscular in places that are almost hidden in those ripped jeans. He'd hover over Yoongi slightly if they were closer. It's a thought he's had before, being closer to the younger boy, but seeing the reality of what it'd be like is something else altogether. Jungkook looks good. Real good. Almost too good to be true.

It makes sense now, the little comments Jungkook would say sometimes about the outside not matching the inside. About people expecting something different from him. On the surface Yoongi can almost understand it--but then Jungkook flusters. Almost as soon as he suddenly stands up he seems to regret it, eyes lit up in nervous excitement, his smile shy, uncertain, looking like he doesn't quite know what to do with himself. It's as endearing as every single one of his messages. It's the Jungkook he's grown fond of over all these months, Yoongi's smile widening as he holds open his arms a little. Open for Jungkook to walk into if he wants. Open like two friends greeting warmly after a long time apart. "It's nice to finally see you, JK."

[toughkookie]

it takes a long few moments for jungkook's brain to process everything that's happening. the first thing to do is to take in everything about yoongi, min yoongi, right here in front of him, in real life - and god, it's starting to seem like he'll never get over it, even though it's barely been two minutes. it still feels impossible, incredible, seeing him like this, in the flesh, everything just as he would have expected. and yet.. it's always the same thing. it isn't something that they had discussed explicitly, nothing that went into too much detail, aside from a comment here or there about yoongi's height itself. jungkook didn't know what to expect, wouldn't have even thought about it, doesn't have a problem himself with the older man being shorter than he is, per say. but the unfortunate truth that keeps on creeping up on him the longer they stand here, the more he takes in, the longer the silence stretches out, is that this is a difference. significant enough that maybe it will put yoongi off. maybe it will kill any interest he may have had - assuming there was interest in the first place. maybe he'll change his mind, maybe he'll think jungkook isn't the same person he's presented himself to be, there are too many outlandish possibilities swirling around in jungkook's head to even keep track of.

frankly put, for those few seconds, his head is a mess. jungkook can only hope that it doesn't show in his expression, in anything, really, blissfully unaware of just how much his nervous ticks tend to give him away in any situation. but even if that doesn't, the next thing that comes over him is sure to. the thing that happens when yoongi smiles that much wider, when he opens his arms in a clear invitation that almost makes jungkook feel like he could short-circuit right here and now, that makes him think oh my god this is really happening. the relief that washes over him is immediate, complete, and it's funny how his heart can be beating so fast and yet he can feel the weight of at least some of those anxieties start to slip off of his shoulders. it's still a little shy, the nerves creeping through in nearly everything he does it seems, but what matters is that jungkook steps forward a little. he steps forward enough to end up right in yoongi's arms, and tries his hardest to shove down even the start of any thoughts about it being exactly where he's wanted to be for probably far, far too long now. "yeah, it's .. it's really nice to see you too, hyung. really."

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi watches Jungkook watch the way his arms open up for him, so curious to what's going through the boy's head at this very moment. Is he as anxious and excited as he is? Is he still just as stunned this is happening in the first place, that they're in the same place together? Does this feel any more real to him? For so long Jungkook's existed nowhere else but the small screen of his phone--he's never even heard his voice until now. And the little he's heard already has Yoongi hooked for more. Everything about the boy has him hooked for more. There's no way to take the gesture back now, and once again he finds himself hoping it's not too much, too soon. That Jungkook won't find him coming on too strong, demanding, pressuring, which is the last thing Yoongi ever wants to be, much less for the shy boy in front of him.

Then Jungkook steps forward, timidly pressing himself close, seeming quietly happy about the contact. That's more than enough for Yoongi, who circles his waist and draws the younger boy in closer still, arms resting somewhere near the small of Jungkook's back. It happens as naturally, as cozily as slipping on his favorite pair of pajamas. They just fit together right. Maybe that's what makes Yoongi linger for a few seconds longer than what might be considered just a friendly hug, even though the touches themselves are still light, surface level. It's more just the feeling behind them. The warm weight of Jungkook's tall body curling into his own. Just being able to hold him. The unexplainable rush in his chest when he hears Jungkook say hyung so close to his ear, the sound as soft and sincere as the sentiment itself. Yoongi chuckles a little at the added emphasis on the last word, patting the boy's back before letting him go, realizing he has to at some point soon. It should be ridiculous, getting so affected by something so small--but then, maybe everything with Jungkook isn't exactly a small matter to begin with.

"Hope you weren't waiting long," Yoongi says, fingers just skimming the hem of Jungkook's T-shirt as he pulls back. "You looked pretty hard at work just now."

[toughkookie]

hugging yoongi is everything that jungkook thought that it would be. it's absolutely everything that he possibly could have imagined and yet somehow even more, feels so nice, so comforting being pressed close to him that for a few moments, at least, he practically forgets about being anxious at all. even though his mind is still running in overdrive, even though there are still at least a million things to try and focus on like this, the biggest thing that jungkook can't ignore, can't deny, is simply how good, how relaxed, how strangely at ease he feels with yoongi's arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him close. it doesn't require much thought, letting his own fall somewhere around yoongi's shoulders, giving him a comfortable, genuine, affectionate squeeze in response despite the nerves and the shyness still lingering around the edges of it all. no matter what, it's still yoongi. the same yoongi he's been talking to for months, who's made him feel at ease, feel special, feel all kinds of incredible things just through text on a screen, through recorded audio playing through his earbuds. now, he's making him feel all the same things, and jungkook feels a little ridiculous for it, but he also can't help it. can't help the way that just meeting yoongi for this long, getting the chance for this much makes him feel so completely, incredibly lucky.

it feels like it lasts forever and yet nowhere near long enough. whenever yoongi pulls back from the hug jungkook does the same, lets his arms slide back from around yoongi to slip back to his sides as the other speaks up once again. the flush on his cheeks only seems to darken a bit more at yoongi's words, jungkook quickly shaking his head, looking down at his sketchbook and materials strewn over the table as if suddenly remembering they were there all over again. "oh! no, it wasn't long. i mean, i came early, but - it's fine. it was fine. i was just, um, drawing so i wouldn't get too nervous i guess." the words come out in a rush, right around the same time that jungkook starts moving to gather his things back up, to pack them away, to give yoongi some space, some room at the table that he's chosen for them as well.

[starrystarrynight]

It shouldn't be at all hard to let go, but once Jungkook's out of his arms the only thought that really takes shape is I want to have him back. Yoongi can still feel the light, affectionate touch Jungkook pressed to him, warming him from the inside out. It's ridiculous, mildly concerning--but also, in some way, a huge relief. The feelings he has for the younger boy beat just as strong--no, even stronger--now that they're together in person, and getting that small validation in of itself was worth the trip. Yoongi had wondered if he'd still feel that same spark he did over so much long distance. If maybe something would somehow change. It seems insane now that he even had those second thoughts, because he watches Jungkook as he talks. And he's beautiful. How can he be so beautiful? His voice, the way his words catch and tumble, how he blushes, those big, sparkling eyes, how open he is without even thinking about it. That he was nervous to meet Yoongi.

He doesn't comment on that, nor the fact that Jungkook came early because of those nerves. No point in shining a spotlight on the shyness he's honestly just incredibly fond of. "I hope I can see what you made," he says instead, genuine curiosity as Jungkook starts moving to shove things back in his bag. "For now...can I buy you a coffee?" He nods his head to the counter of the shop, where a single barista is setting out some freshly baked sweets behind the frosted glass. He's not going to come all this way and basically ask Jungkook out without treating him to something. Or perhaps a few things.

[toughkookie]

as far as jungkook is concerned, the past few months have been all sorts of perfect. it's funny to think about now, the period of time between meeting yoongi and starting a relationship with him. all the times where jungkook had to pretend that things were purely platonic, that he didn't have feelings for him, that there wasn't something inside of him that desperately wanted more. now, he doesn't have to pretend. now, there's been nothing left but for him to grow more and more comfortable, to continue opening up, being honest, offering himself up to yoongi more and more in every imaginable way. because it feels good. because he wants to. because yoongi is someone he trusts more abd more, more than anyone else with each passing day, a different kind of trust that feels right. because yoongi is his dom, yoongi is his boyfriend, and yoongi never hesitates to make it clear just how much he wants to take care of him.

it means that jungkook has been discovering more and more about himself. it means that he's gotten more and more comfortable being open, being vulnerable, being himself. the more time jungkook spends with yoongi, the more he feels whole, happy, content. a kind of good he only ever could have imagined before. that's why, when they plan for another weekend visit, he's all kinds of ecstatic. it's why he ends up falling asleep pressed close to the older man, one second talking about everything and nothing, the next dead to the world, sucked into a dream. sucked into something else, something hazy and heavy with the weight of how much he's been needing yoongi. it's something that he still struggles with from time to time. something that's hard to completely shake the embarrassment off of, the way that he gets sometimes. so overwhelmed, so needy, especially without a real physical release for just a little too long.

all things considered, it shouldn't be a surprise.

it shouldn't be a surprise, the way that he wakes up with his brain still clouded and foggy, a half memory of yoongi fucking him to tears, making him feel good, so good, lingering just enough to torture. mixed in with the scent of yoongi's familiar cologne and laundry detergent, the way there's warm heat pressed everywhere - it's too much. jungkook is already feeling overwhelmed before he's even fully awake, whine creeping up the back of his throat, so hard in his shorts already that shifting around brings a jolt of sensation, too much and not enough. because it's been weeks since they did this, because  jungkook was more concerned with spending time together than sex when yoongi arrived but now - now it feels like he might explode if he doesn't get some kind of relief. and with yoongi here, right here, even the thought of trying to handle it himself makes him want to cry.

"hyung -" the word comes out half choked, soft, just bordering on the kind of desperate that's creeping up inside him as he presses his hips firmly against yoongi's thigh, he can't help himself. "hyung, please." the rest of it is pressed against yoongi's neck, voice shaking like it's already threatening to break.

[starrystarrynight]

As far as Yoongi is concerned, nothing else compares to weekends like this--weekends when all he has to focus on is his boyfriend and their time together. In a perfect world, of course, they'd be doing this much more often. But the time they do have is that much more precious because of the long distance, because there's always that train to eventually take him home and back to his own studio apartment. Jungkook's elated smile and wrapping him up in at least ten hugs makes him forget about that for a little while, though. Taking him out to dinner and seeing for himself that he's eating well does too. And the kisses certainly don't hurt. By the end of the night the two fall hard, and the last thing Yoongi thinks before drifting off to sleep is how lucky he is to have the younger boy in his arms and in his life. Sometimes he still can't believe just how good he has it, how well they fit together.

In all ways possible.

Maybe it's that closeness that has Yoongi stirring at the same that Jungkook does, in tune with every minute shift of the younger boy against him. He's spent a while now with Jungkook's body, studying and praising and pleasuring and comforting. Pushing higher and higher, enough to make it worthwhile, always catching him on the descent. Yoongi's body registers the firm pressure against his thigh before his brain does, the arm draped lazily on Jungkook's back tightening around him. Pulling him in even closer, fingers curling into that tiny waist he adores so much. Yoongi shivers a little at the light breath against his neck, hyung hooking somewhere deep. "Mm?" It's little more than a sleepy rumble from his chest, murmuring a half-intelligible version of Jungkook a moment later. He likes this dream, whatever it is.

[toughkookie]

jungkook doesn't get like this often. it's happened before, both while he and yoongi are together and while they're apart, and every single time that it does, it leaves him feeling just as out of control, just as unsure, just as much of a mess. it's a headspace that he's come to associate with yoongi, the kind where he doesn't know what to do with himself, doesn't know how to help himself. the kind where the only thing that he wants to do is to let go, let hyung take care of him, and god. having that for himself after so long, after so much time spent wondering what it would be like, having it with yoongi, it still just makes him that much more eager to fall into it.

he's ready. he's more than ready, and having yoongi's touch tighten around him, fingers curling into his waist, voice rumbling deep in his chest - it's like torture, and jungkook doesn't know what to do with it. he's quickly becoming a mess, falling apart even without yoongi doing anything at all, a victim of the time and distance as much as his own hazy brain still teasing him with the lingering pictures, sensations it had been painting for him in his dream. he wants yoongi so much, it's getting worse when he didn't think that it possibly could, pulling a whine from his throat at the sound of his name on yoongi's tongue. "hyung-" he tries again, pressing harder against yoongi's thigh, unable to resist grinding his hips against him softly, even the slightest amount of friction. he'll be embarrassed about all of this later, when he remembers it, when it all comes back with much more clarity. but right now, he can hardly even think straight, and there isn't anything else that matters as much as this. "- please, i need you."

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi's slept in Jungkook's bed enough times by now to feel completely at home in it, lulled by the younger boy's soft breathing and the light hum of a fan across the bedroom. It's all too easy for him to drift off, and maybe he would have fallen back into that nice, heavy place he was in just moments before if it weren't for that insistent something at his legs. It doesn't feel like Jungkook simply shifting in his sleep, the way he sometimes makes himself small and curls into Yoongi's body or flops himself out, limbs splayed everywhere. This feels more deliberate. Familiar. And then there's the sound of Jungkook's breathy voice, slowly cutting through the haze of slee, calling out in a way that has Yoongi blinking open dark, half-lidded eyes.

He finds Jungkook's hair in his face first, the rest of the younger boy nestled into the side of his neck. It would all be sweet, and it still is, really, if it weren't for the confession Yoongi happens to catch in that soft whine of a voice. If it weren't for the fact that the pressure he feels against his right thigh is without a doubt Jungkook's dick softly grinding against him through their clothes. He's hard and hot even through his cotton sweatpants, waking Yoongi up right then and there. It doesn't take that long to figure out what's happening, memories still fresh in Yoongi's mind of a needy Jungkook on the phone, over Skype, right here in this bed. "Mm, come here, baby," Yoongi murmurs, voice still thick with sleep as he gently tugs the boy even closer, hand dipping down the length of Jungkook's spine. He doesn't stop until he's palming over the other's ass, those sleep shorts that don't leave much to the imagination. It effectively pulls Jungkook more firmly into his thigh, an unspoken encouragement for the younger boy to keep going as he continues the attentive touches. "What do you need hyung to do?"

[toughkookie]

jungkook can't help himself. he never really can when he gets like this, a process that's been slow, something he wasn't able to give himself over to so easily in the beginning. even now, he'll be embarrassed when he thinks about it later. he'll get shy, he'll feel guilty for waking yoongi up in the middle of the night, even though they both know that the older man wants nothing more than to do just that if it's what jungkook needs. still, it isn't easy to shake all of those things off. not completely. but the thing is, it doesn't matter. because right now he can't think about any of that, he can't even come close to it, and especially not whenever yoongi is starting to stir, when jungkook knows that he's waking up.

it's obvious in the way that he stirs a little, the sound of his voice continuing on along with the trail of his touch down jungkook's back, hand pressing against his ass, pressing him closer, pushing something like a downright moan right out of his chest. it feels good, of course it does, just like any attention from yoongi. but it still isn't enough. he wants more, needs more, still needs it so badly he feels like he could fall apart at any second, whimpering softly, unable to do much of anything about the all but mindless grinding against yoongi's thigh that he's still doing. "hyung ... i want you to touch me. want-want hyung inside me, please?" it's always easier to voice these things when he's a little out of his mind, even as he stutters slightly over his words, struggling to articulate entirely in the mess of sleep and arousal he's caught right in the middle of.

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi simply takes it all in stride. It doesn't matter that he was just sleeping, or that it's the dead of night, or that on the surface this all seems to have happened very suddenly. No need of Jungkook's is too small, because Yoongi is committed to taking care of every single one. He feels fully responsible for the younger boy, in a special way he's never had before even with his previous subs, because at the end of the day Yoongi's primary satisfaction comes from making Jungkook feel good and cared for. That's the kind of the dom Jungkook deserves. That's the kind of man he wants to be for his boyfriend. And right now, with Jungkook being so clear how he wants to be cared for, there's no reason not to listen to every word. There's been times in the past when Yoongi couldn't be there for him the way he wanted to be, couldn't truly satisfy him, times he still quietly feels guilty about--and he's determined not to have a repeat tonight.

Something in the boy's tone instantly makes Yoongi's chest ache, the other so open, already so deeply unwound. It never does take much. "Of course," he breathes in the dark space between them. The way Jungkook struggles through the mindless words only has Yoongi cupping the boy's cheek with his free hand, rewarding his honesty with a slow, equally mindless kiss. He swears he can taste the boy's need on his tongue, begging for attention, and it's intoxicating. Everything about Jungkook is, from those sweet sounds that keep slipping to the way he's desperately searching for relief against his thigh. Yoongi's hand continues to lazily grope him through his shorts, before resting back on his waist, adding just a bit of pressure. Just enough to pause the grinding, guide Jungkook's focus. "Do you want to help me get ready, baby?" The question is gentle, even though the implication has arousal swooping low in his belly, sweat pants a little tighter than a minute before. Those soft lips, those warm hands working to get him fully hard is almost as good as the thought that the boy can't wait for this, can't wait even one more minute.

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi has always liked spring. The perfect weather, the clean smells, the fresh start. The flowers. Jungkook's flowers are forever in bloom, tucked safely away in his sketch books, but it's nice to appreciate the real thing. Yoongi was just about to the cross the street toward the Daegu train station when he suddenly stopped, did a double take to the store he passed by. He had never noticed it before in his now familiar trek, never stopped to admire the vibrant varieties sprawling out of the hole in the wall flower shop. So he does admire them. And when he eyes a bouquet of pretty yellow lilies inside, all dressed up in white ribbon, there's not a doubt in his mind who they belong to.

They may not be as eye-catching as the ones Jungkook draws and paints and breathes to life, but they certainly dress Yoongi up as his travel companion, sitting dutifully at his side. No matter how many times he takes the train in, that giddy sort of sensation in his stomach never goes away. Although he makes the weekend trip as often as he possibly can, there's still far too many gaps in between seeing Jungkook. In between cuddling on the couch with a dozen movies and dinner dates and lingering touches in the shower. Yoongi misses him so fiercely it's starting to become a physical ache whenever he leaves to go back home. And strangely, it's starting to feel less and less like home the longer they date.

Thankfully, he won't have think about that for the next few days. Still carefully holding the bouquet, Yoongi steps up to Jungkook's studio apartment door and gives a light knock. He had texted his boyfriend when he got off the train and gotten a cheerful reply within seconds, little hearts lighting up his screen and making him smile to himself. Clearly he wasn't the only one ready for a much-needed reunion.

[toughkookie]

it's a pattern that's grown increasingly familiar over the past several months. now it feels comfortable, feels right every single time, when jungkook has the comfort of knowing that yoongi will be here with him for a weekend. at first he struggled with it sometimes, having a hard time letting yoongi be the one to come to him, always wanting to meet the older man at the station, to help accomodate him. but over time, jungkook has settled into it. he's grown more and more comfortable with yoongi taking the lead, taking care of him, even in small ways like this. it's all thanks to the older man's encouragement, reassurance, everything in between that they've settled into a comfortable routine for every time yoongi comes in.

now is no different. jungkook has spent the last couple of days cleaning up, everything from the bathroom to milk's cage to the bedsheets (he always likes to wash them right before yoongi visits, that way he can let the smell of his cologne linger as long as possible after he's gone). he's freshly showered and dressed earlier than yoongi's train is set to arrive, because the nervous jitters always keep him from sleeping in too much. because no matter how many times yoongi has visited him, stayed with him, jungkook can never stop himself from feeling all kinds of excited about it.

he forces himself to stop fussing around once he gets yoongi's text and knows he's in the city. but he gives one more round of adjustments to his clothes, brand new, just in case. he's never worn them out before, never shown them to yoongi, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about it. fingers tug lightly at the fabric, overall shorts tie-dyed in an array of pretty pastel colors. he's paired it with a simple white tshirt, but it's far from the oversized, baggy ones he used to wear. this one is just loose enough to compliment the style, not short enough to be a crop top, but it does allow for a peek of his waist on each side. he likes it, but he's still nervous - excited, curious whether or not yoongi will like it, too.

he won't have to wait long to find out. it isn't a long trek from the train station to his apartment, and the familiar knock sounds at the door soon enough. just like always, any nerves are thrown to the side just as soon as jungkook gets up, comes over to the door and opens it. there's just sonething about yoongi that always overrides everything else, that sends him rushing forward, arms wrapped around the older man in a tight hug.

[starrystarrynight]

Before Yoongi even has the chance to get a good look at Jungkook, the younger boy is already rushing forward to collide into his arms. The weight of him feels so good, so right after too many weeks, and Yoongi's laughing a little in his hair, the breath knocked from his chest from the force of Jungkook's hug. He pulls the boy snug against his body, arms winding around his narrow waist, curling into his soft T-shirt. Yoongi's missed all of this. Jungkook nuzzling into his neck, Jungkook's smell, Jungkook's body curling into his slightly shorter frame. Just being able to touch him again. For a few moments he doesn't say anything at all, simply letting himself feel, indulging in the comfort that comes from being together again. The warmth that comes from his boyfriend is soothing and electrifying all at once, and Yoongi's not sure if he's ever going to get used to it.

"How are you, baby?" The words are caught somewhere between kisses to the arch of Jungkook's shoulder, the only place Yoongi can effectively reach without pulling away. Tender pressure, the same as his hands moving to lightly stroke the boy's back, Yoongi already starting to fall down the rabbit hole of giving his boy all the attention after a long absence. It's not like he can help it, especially when Jungkook is being so cute, and--

Yoongi suddenly registers the fact that the material underneath his fingers is different than what Jungkook usually wears. He also feels the small patch of bare skin when he strokes along the boy's sides, the placement curious. This time Yoongi does pull away ever so slightly, enough to take him in. Blinks. Steps back and gently holds Jungkook at arm's length, eyes widening slightly in surprise as he gives his boyfriend a proper once-over. Several long seconds of a once-over. "Jungkookie.." There's something like awe in his voice.

[toughkookie]

there's no way to explain just how it feels, being together with yoongi again like this. one second he's still inside, waiting, and the next he's safe and comfortable in yoongi's arms, holding onto him every bit as tightly, pressing into all of he places he can manage like he just can't get close enough. because he can't. he doesn't think he'll ever be able to, doesn't think he'll ever get his fill of the older man, that he'll ever feel truly satisfied, stop wanting him. he doesn't want to. he's perfrctly happy just like this, can't think of a single thing he would change, not in a million years.

the way that yoongi laughs breathlessly has jungkook smiling, the kisses pressed to his shoulder making his heart squeeze, ache in the best kind of way. the question feels even nicer, hearing, feeling yoongi's voice pressed this up close, jungkook unable to help himself from nuzzling a little bit closer. "really good, now," is his soft answer to the question, words that come out just before realization starts to settle over yoongi, before he pulls back enough to take it all in, to get a proper look at jungkook.

suddenly, jungkook feels shy. he can feel it in the way that his cheeks heat up, how the instinct is to look down, away, something. he knows that there's no reason to be, never feels anything less than comfortable, at ease with yoongi, but still. he can't help it, not when this is so new, a completely different sort of surprise, one that jungkook doesn't know what kind of reaction it's going to earn. the sound of his name just makes the flush burn brighter. "um... i-i just bought this, so.." he trails off, unsure of where to go with it but still feeling the need to explain, fighting the urge to look away.

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi can only imagine what he looks like right now, motionless, mouth open in surprise, still holding Jungkook out in front of him. But he can't be too bothered by the fact that he's now openly gaping at his boyfriend because there's so much else to pay attention to. Of course there are the obvious things, the outfit Jungkook so mindfully, deliberately dressed himself in. The overall shorts are a mix of pretty pastel colors, soft, swirling, like the watercolor paints he sometimes uses. It suits his body well, slightly cinching in Jungkook's tiny waist, hitting just about mid-thigh for a flattering, but still practical fit. The T-shirt only compliments the look and is completely different from any T-shirt Yoongi's ever seen in the boy's closet before. It's shorter, fitted. Yoongi's gaze trails down to Jungkook's sides again, the peek of skin he had felt before. It's all pretty. Pretty and mild and soft.

Yoongi's hands slip down the boy's shoulders and gently rest on his hips, right there where Jungkook's shirt doesn't quite stretch down to his shorts. There are other things, too, that are leaving him speechless. Much larger things crowding up his heart. This is the first time Jungkook's ever worn clothes like this in front of him. This might be the first time he's ever worn clothes like this period. Imagining Jungkook being this comfortable and accepting with his desires, with himself, is something Yoongi has thought of often. Just a matter of months ago this all would have seemed rather unlikely, but right now, right here...

"Jungkookie." The awe is still there, lingering, but now there are other emotions shining through Yoongi's expression as he regards the younger boy. Happiness, admiration, and of course--pride. "You look...I've never seen you look so much like yourself." He makes sure the shy boy is meeting his eyes when he smiles, says, "I'm so proud of you."

[toughkookie]

jungkook has no idea what's going to come next. he knows that it won't be bad, because he knows yoongi. but more than that, yoongi knows him. yoongi knows exactly what it is that he likes, how he sees himself, how he wishes the rest of the world could see him more often than not - most days, jungkook thinks that yoongi knows, that he understands all of that much better than jungkook does himself. and yoongi has never been anything short of completely and entirely supportive, encouraging, always wanting jungkook to do anything and everything that he can to make all of those things a reality. jungkook knows this. but he still can't help the anxious beat of his heart, how it's going a little too fast, how the flush is stubborn on his cheeks, right alongside the urge to fidget, to look away, to curl into himself or otherwise hide because he isn't sure how else to handle it.

but he doesn't have to worry about it for too long. it's hard to say what gets to him first, if it's the way that yoongi looks at him or the way his touches slide down to his hips or the sound of his voice. either way, it hits him hard, just the same way that it always does. being praised, hearing that yoongi is proud of him - it never, ever fails to make that happiness bloom rapidly inside of him, filling up his chest, pulling some of that pride into himself as well.

his expression turns softer, then. flush still in place, but jungkook can't help it. just like he can't help the way that he smiles or presses closer again on instinct, like he's trying to curl himself up in yoongi and hide, or how he can't help the small, soft, shy giggle that slips through.

[starrystarrynight]

First, it's the soft sound of the keyboard drifting in. Then it's Milk giving little chirps, as she often, spontaneously does. Finally it's the sound of traffic, the bustle of cars and people outside that eventually pulls Yoongi from his late-morning sleep, curled up into himself underneath a pile of blankets. Usually he's curled around someone, tangled up in more limbs, with a cute face shoved straight into his chest, open-mouthed and completely knocked out. It never gets old, waking up to that sight. After a few sleepy blinks, unfolding his stiff limbs from the bed, Yoongi recognizes the telltale typing sounds for what it is.

A quick glance to his right, peeking through the gauzy partition separating the bedroom space from the living room area, confirms what he already knows. Jungkook is wide awake at his desk, typing away with the kind of speed and purpose Yoongi can't quite relate to in his pre-caffeine state. Which, of course, is just enough encouragement to leave the cozy warmth of their bed to search it out. Yoongi pads over the hardwood floor in small, shuffling steps, brushing a kiss and raspy morning to Jungkook's hair before continuing on toward the kitchen. It doesn't take long to make his dark brew--he coffee machine was one of the few things he had even bothered to take with him from Daegu--and soon enough he emerges at Jungkook's side a new man. Freshly washed up, teeth brushed, a little more life in the eyes, an old friend in his hands.

For a few seconds he just drinks and watches Jungkook work. It's not surprising at all, the younger man getting a burst of productive energy on a quiet Saturday morning. Once he gets started on a project it's hard for him to slow down, or even take a break--a troublesome habit Yoongi knows all too well himself. But right now all he can really focus on is the way Jungkook's brows are slightly tense in concentration, how he's absently biting his lip as he writes, still sleep-soft but alight with energy. It's the kind of expression that leaves Yoongi hopelessly fond, reaching out to his boyfriend's hair again. Rubbing the nape of his neck in a light massage. He wonders how long he's already been at it, hunched over his laptop like this.

"What are you working on?"

[toughkookie]

jungkook isn't always an early riser. some days he can sleep on until the early afternoon, particularly after a busy week of classes or a strong creative outburst that keeps him from sleeping before he can get the image in his mind out on paper. usually it's even better, worse with yoongi in his bed with him - because the older man is just, everything that jungkook associates with good safe warm home. but even then, sometimes it just can't be helped.

sometimes something in him wakes him up bright and early, has him blinking open his eyes and instead of his usual post-sleep haze, feeling clear headed and determined, ready to tackle whatever project is next on his to do list. today is one of those days, saturday or not. jungkook has been awake for past two hours, and when it's like this, no matter how comfortable and warm yoongi is, he just - he can't help it. he has to do something.

so jungkook finds himself carefully climbing out of bed, brushing his teeth and washing his face, giving milk her morning treat before he settles in to get to work. he's armed with banana milk and still dressed in his comfortable pajamas, short and impossibly soft shorts paired with one of yoongi's old, most worn and soft t-shirts. he got used to wearing them when they were still long distance - when it was all he had to keep the smell of yoongi's cologne until the next time they saw each other. but how, the habit is just hard to break - and maybe he just doesn't want to.

he's still right where he landed - sitting at his desk, laptop open, working on queue-ing up some posts for the blog when he hears the telltale shuffling sound that means that yoongi is awake. they've gone through the same ritual enough times that jungkook doesn't pause in his work when yoongi approaches the first time, or even the second. he just keeps on, always so single-minded when it comes to things like this, determined to finish so he can feel some sense of completion, of satisfaction.

"mm, some posts for the blog," is his easy answer, almost absent minded, coming while his gaze is still trained on the screen, focused. "our queue was getting low so i wanted to make sure there were still posts coming through regularly ... and i wanted to weed out some of the messages."

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi expects the reaction--or rather, lack of reaction--from Jungkook, who doesn't even look up from what he's typing on his laptop. He's typically like this when he gets in these moods, focused solely on the task at hand, not paying much attention to everything else around him. That would just be a distraction to what he needs to accomplish. Glancing at the screen, Yoongi figures he's already accomplished a lot as it is this morning--there's definitely more posts in the queue than before, some picture uploads he must have just included too. Despite that, unsurprisingly, the younger boy doesn't look like he's even come close to slowing down.

"Mm," Yoongi hums around his mug, unbothered by the razor sharp focus sitting on Jungkook's pretty features. He's simply content to watch him, letting himself slowly wake up more. Jungkook's hair is so soft underneath his fingers, the oversized T-shirt leaving an attractive little dip at his nape. It was one of Yoongi's old favorites before it was reclaimed by the boy, and the fabric feels just as cozy as he remembers. Seeing Jungkook wearing it still does something to his chest, something proud and warm and possessive digging ever deeper roots. Softly, Yoongi's touch follows the loose collar of the T-shirt, thumb massaging just where the curve of Jungkook's shoulder begins. Another unconscious habit. It's been that way ever since they first met in person a few years ago, Yoongi pulled like a magnet to the small of the boy's back, to his hands, to his neck. He always wanted Jungkook to feel his presence, to know he was there for him in any way he needed.

The thing is--once Yoongi starts, he has a hard time pulling away. So he simply stays, shuffling in a little closer to stand right behind Jungkook's chair, peering in closer at what his boyfriend's actually writing about. They've set guidelines for themselves a while ago, but overall, they've agreed to have the freedom to write anything they want, anytime they want--together or individually. And Yoongi can't help but be curious about the other's thoughts--Jungkook's creative process has always been fascinating for him. "What kinds of messages?"

[toughkookie]

jungkook isn't bothered by yoongi's presence behind him. he's never bothered by yoongi - not when the older man is all kinds of safe to him, the ultimate comfort. yoongi knows absolutely anything and everything that there is to know about jungkook, and besides, the blog is something that the two of them collaborate on. there's no shame in yoongi watching him draft uploads, just like there's no problem with the reverse. it's not as if the two of them have never spent time sitting down together to go through and answer questions or come up with content on their own. so it's easy for jungkook to keep up his focus, keep up his work as if nothing is happening even with yoongi in his space, touching him, shifting that much closer.

because the truth is - no matter what they are, no matter what they're doing at any given moment, yoongi is never really close enough. the two of them are equally drawn to each other in ways that their friends sometimes say are ridiculous - like they just can't keep their hands to themselves, whether it's yoongi's at the small of jungkook's back or jungkook lacing their fingers together or looping his arm through yoongi's, leaning against the shorter man, always seeming to be looking for some kind of attention, subconsciously or not.

even after a few years, even after settling into a new routine of yoongi living here with him, it's still the same. and it means that jungkook accepts the touches, the attention willingly despite the focus still stubbornly holding onto him as he finishes up an answer, clicks it into the queue and begins to search and scroll to find the next thing that suits his fancy for the moment. he doesn't even realize that he's made a content little sound until it's already happened - but then, it doesn't bother him anyway. there's not much left to be embarrassed about around yoongi, anyway - at least, not in a neutral mindset.

"mm.. just some questions about my perspective on things as a sub, my experiences, stuff like that. i edited a couple of pictures that i took, too!"

[starrystarrynight]

Yoongi's found his own comfort in the touches, in the small ways he and Jungkook continually gravitate toward each other, consider each other, spend time with each other. Of course, there's comfort in providing that sense of security and safety to Jungkook as his dom--there always has been and there probably always will be. But how he feels about Jungkook has never been restricted in exclusive, tight parameters. What they share is so different from previous relationships he's had in almost every way imaginable. Jungkook cares about all of him, loves all of him beyond whatever roles they occupy in and out of the bedroom, offline and online, and it's honestly just...freeing.

Yoongi's always known he's had a knack for encouraging others to open up and share their deepest selves with him, without shame or judgment. He just never knew he would find someone who would make him feel comfortable enough to do the same.

Yoongi feels more than hears the small sound that escapes Jungkook, fingertips now grazing up the younger man's throat, catching the vibration right at the source. It's soft, pleasant, very clearly an unintentional reaction to Yoongi getting touchy. Clearly, it would take a lot more than that to actually distract Jungkook from his work and pull his attention away. The thought, harmless enough, lingers for a moment. And then another moment as Jungkook unsuspectingly clicks around on their blog, searching for something else to do. Yoongi's suddenly aware of the details--everything from the warmth of Jungkook's skin to those impossibly tiny shorts--and right then and there, he decides how he's going to enjoy this Saturday morning himself.

"Any with the new outfit--the one I got you last week?" Yoongi getting touchy, especially on lazy weekend mornings, is nothing out of character. The coffee cup is already empty on Jungkook's desk, freeing up both of his hands so he can continue to map constellations across the expanse of Jungkook's skin, tracing moles and freckles he knows by heart. "You looked pretty."

[toughkookie]

jungkook's more than used to it by now - more than used to every single part of his body becoming so open to yoongi, available - ready to be touched at any moment. he's just become accustomed to it all - and not only that, but comfortable. ready, willing, craving yoongi's touch in moment where he isn't even aware of it. it's like there's a part of him that just - is always wanting yoongi, and jungkook is more than absolutely fine with that.

so right here, right now is nothing different. there's nothing strange to jungkook about feeling the graze of yoongi's fingertips up over his throat, making him want to shiver, pulling goosebumps along the surface of his skin. there's something there, even when yoongi's touches right now are so gentle, easy, just exploring with no real goal in mind. jungkook can't help it - can't help the way that his body remembers entirely different scenarios where yoongi's hands have been pressed against his throat like this, only harder - with purpose, the kind that's had jungkook breathless in the best kind of way more than he can count.

jungkook shifts a little bit in his seat. nothing abnormal. nothing out of the ordinary. he doesn't even realize he's doing it. of course not, when he's still focused on the task at hand, clicking back into their messages to type out a few more answers, a few more updates to fill out their queue.

"mhm," he answers yoongi's question easily, brightly enough, despite his focus. "i really liked it, too. the pictures came out nicely."